a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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