you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
