did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Randomize
