She is in my trunk
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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