i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
