dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
