so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
