"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
