chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
