people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
