Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Randomize
