It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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