no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
