Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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