Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize