how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
