Just fell off a train. Bad.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
