whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
