We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
He shit in the fireplace
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
