try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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