There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
