I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
