i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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