The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
