Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
you would pick up someone in the library
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
i think my cat just said my name.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
