Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
