I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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