Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
