i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I just blew my weed a kiss
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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