"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Randomize