just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
