This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
