Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
