my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
