It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
