You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
