how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Randomize
