I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Randomize
