just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
