Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Less talking, more tequila
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
