Your face is a jimmy john
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
