How'd it feel making her break her religion?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize