I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Randomize
