I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
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