im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
the raccoons are back...
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