OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
