once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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