i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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