im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I have post one night stand depression
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