Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Randomize
