Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
