This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Randomize
