a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
