Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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