Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
