I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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